When Bad Things Happen - Turning Tragedy into a Legacy of Love

(I am writing this in reflection of the recent Batman Theatre Gunning in Aurora, Colorado).

There are times that really really bad things happen. Things that there really are no explanations for.The news will replay it - trying to make sense of the tragedy. Sometimes the people involved will kill themselves, other times they may be killed by law enforcement. Maybe they will be caught and stand trial or be held to be insane for trial purposes -- and be put away. Maybe they will face life in prison or the death penalty. It all depends.

BUT --  one thing will always be true: their subsequent fate will not change their actions. The evil cannot be undone. The hurt cannot be erased. Lives will be forever changed.

You will wonder why? How did this happen? That is normal. You will try to make sense of the tragedy. But the truth is you may never know. And even if you do know, the answer won't make any real sense because the reasoning for such behavior will not be sound. It will be based on hate, anger, depression, drug induced confusion, or insanity.

SO: How do you move on? How do you not be afraid?

Very good questions. There are many rationales. People often say: Life must go on. And this is true. The easiest case is if you have children in your life: because children will move forward by necessity -- they have to grow. In the face of terrible tragedy, children will still play, dream, need You. But what if you don't have children in your life?? 

Move forward to prevent madness from winning. Imagine if everyone gave up after the Twin Towers? Imagine if no one would fly.... America would become a country of fear.... not only would all those innocent people have been killed -- they would have effectively crippled America. We would have become prisoners of war in our own country. You can't let evil/madness/hate/insanity win.  SO You must move forward. Hopefully, a little more wise -- a little more aware. You may change how You do things but You won't stop doing them. Or madness will win.

We also must move forward because we are reminded just how fragile life is. Let the death of the innocent victims stand for something besides tragedy. Let their lost lives be a reminder to You cherish the moments You have with loved ones in your life. Turn tragedy into a legacy of love and life.

Thought of the day: Turn Tragedy into a Legacy of Love and Life

P.S. 
I haven't spoken about religion during times of tragedy. But I think I should address it here. I find community prayer and candle vigils to be calming, helpful, and healing. Mourning in prayer within your community and the greater nation is powerful. But You must find what works for You. Maybe it will be private reflection, maybe watching the news, working out, playing music, or maybe simply moving forward.

There will always be those who argue that there is no God that would allow such destruction of innocent lives. Remember that they are trying to find answers too and pray for them. Have faith. Have hope. Pray. And if it helps you , I like to think (during these times of tragedy) that God loved us so much that he gave us free will -- and that he knew we,his children, might make mistakes and fall from glory. But he loved us enough to set us free -- 


Love, Mom

It is ok to ask for help in times of need

I have always had an independent streak. I learned early on in life to get where I needed to be, I should rely upon myself. I have tried from the very beginning, to foster your individuality and to teach you to trust in yourself, to take ownership of your life, and to be strong independent people.

That being said, My lesson of the day is: It is OK to ask for help.

Have you ever heard the expression: "no man is an island". Or, the philosophy that "it takes a village". Or read the modern "parable" :

Footprints in the Sand...

One night I dreamed I was walking along the beach with the Lord.
Many scenes from my life flashed across the sky.
In each scene I noticed footprints in the sand.
Sometimes there were two sets of footprints.
Other times there were one set of footprints.
This bothered me because I noticed that during the low periods of my life
When I was suffering from anguish, sorrow, or defeat,
I could see only one set of footprints.
So I said to the Lord, "You promised me, Lord,
That if I followed you, you would walk with me always.
But I noticed that during the most trying periods of my life
There have only been one set of prints in the sand.
Why, When I have needed you most, you have not been there for me?"
The Lord replied,
"The times when you have seen only one set of footprints
Is when I carried you."

All these ideas - suggest that there are times in life... When we need help - be it spiritual, physical, or emotional. 

I have raised you to be self reliant... but there will be times in life... When to move forward, move on, thrive, or survive -- you will need help.

In times of spiritual need: I have found praying or meditating in nature has helped: at the beach, in the woods, at sunset, or on a quiet path along the levee. Seek out a place that you can go in times of need.... to reflect and pray. A safe house for you soul.

In times of physical or emotional need, you may need help. Maybe you are in physical pain and need to go to the doctor or the dentist. Maybe you are depressed and or angry and need to see a psychologist.Maybe you can't pay your bills and need to see a credit counselor. Maybe you are out of work and need unemployment benefits. Maybe you are hungry and need to get assistance through a food bank, wic, food stamps. Maybe you are in danger and need a safe house. At those times, you will need to be humble and strong. Humble enough to ask for help and strong enough to take the necessary steps. Love yourself enough to get the help you need and deserve.

Don't be afraid to ask. Don't feel as if you have failed. Don't let pride get in your way. Remember: Everyone, at some point in their lives, has had to ask for help. EVERYONE. Yes, your mom and dad. Yes, your grandparents. Yes, your friends, EVERYONE.

This post is simply a short reminder from your mom to YOU that you are merely human and that it is OK to seek out help.

I love you for being you.

Mom