(I am writing this in reflection of the recent Batman Theatre Gunning in Aurora, Colorado).
There are times that really really bad things happen. Things that there really are no explanations for.The news will replay it - trying to make sense of the tragedy. Sometimes the people involved will kill themselves, other times they may be killed by law enforcement. Maybe they will be caught and stand trial or be held to be insane for trial purposes -- and be put away. Maybe they will face life in prison or the death penalty. It all depends.
BUT -- one thing will always be true: their subsequent fate will not change their actions. The evil cannot be undone. The hurt cannot be erased. Lives will be forever changed.
You will wonder why? How did this happen? That is normal. You will try to make sense of the tragedy. But the truth is you may never know. And even if you do know, the answer won't make any real sense because the reasoning for such behavior will not be sound. It will be based on hate, anger, depression, drug induced confusion, or insanity.
SO: How do you move on? How do you not be afraid?
Very good questions. There are many rationales. People often say: Life must go on. And this is true. The easiest case is if you have children in your life: because children will move forward by necessity -- they have to grow. In the face of terrible tragedy, children will still play, dream, need You. But what if you don't have children in your life??
Move forward to prevent madness from winning. Imagine if everyone gave up after the Twin Towers? Imagine if no one would fly.... America would become a country of fear.... not only would all those innocent people have been killed -- they would have effectively crippled America. We would have become prisoners of war in our own country. You can't let evil/madness/hate/insanity win. SO You must move forward. Hopefully, a little more wise -- a little more aware. You may change how You do things but You won't stop doing them. Or madness will win.
We also must move forward because we are reminded just how fragile life is. Let the death of the innocent victims stand for something besides tragedy. Let their lost lives be a reminder to You cherish the moments You have with loved ones in your life. Turn tragedy into a legacy of love and life.
Thought of the day: Turn Tragedy into a Legacy of Love and Life
P.S.
I haven't spoken about religion during times of tragedy. But I think I should address it here. I find community prayer and candle vigils to be calming, helpful, and healing. Mourning in prayer within your community and the greater nation is powerful. But You must find what works for You. Maybe it will be private reflection, maybe watching the news, working out, playing music, or maybe simply moving forward.
There will always be those who argue that there is no God that would allow such destruction of innocent lives. Remember that they are trying to find answers too and pray for them. Have faith. Have hope. Pray. And if it helps you , I like to think (during these times of tragedy) that God loved us so much that he gave us free will -- and that he knew we,his children, might make mistakes and fall from glory. But he loved us enough to set us free --
Love, Mom
Thursday, July 26, 2012
Wednesday, July 25, 2012
It is ok to ask for help in times of need
I have always had an independent streak. I learned early on in life to get where I needed to be, I should rely upon myself. I have tried from the very beginning, to foster your individuality and to teach you to trust in yourself, to take ownership of your life, and to be strong independent people.
That being said, My lesson of the day is: It is OK to ask for help.
Have you ever heard the expression: "no man is an island". Or, the philosophy that "it takes a village". Or read the modern "parable" :
Footprints in the Sand...
One night I dreamed I was walking along the beach with the Lord.
Many scenes from my life flashed across the sky.
In each scene I noticed footprints in the sand.
Sometimes there were two sets of footprints.
Other times there were one set of footprints.
This bothered me because I noticed that during the low periods of my life
When I was suffering from anguish, sorrow, or defeat,
I could see only one set of footprints.
So I said to the Lord, "You promised me, Lord,
That if I followed you, you would walk with me always.
But I noticed that during the most trying periods of my life
There have only been one set of prints in the sand.
Why, When I have needed you most, you have not been there for me?"
The Lord replied,
"The times when you have seen only one set of footprints
Is when I carried you."
All these ideas - suggest that there are times in life... When we need help - be it spiritual, physical, or emotional.
I have raised you to be self reliant... but there will be times in life... When to move forward, move on, thrive, or survive -- you will need help.
In times of spiritual need: I have found praying or meditating in nature has helped: at the beach, in the woods, at sunset, or on a quiet path along the levee. Seek out a place that you can go in times of need.... to reflect and pray. A safe house for you soul.
In times of physical or emotional need, you may need help. Maybe you are in physical pain and need to go to the doctor or the dentist. Maybe you are depressed and or angry and need to see a psychologist.Maybe you can't pay your bills and need to see a credit counselor. Maybe you are out of work and need unemployment benefits. Maybe you are hungry and need to get assistance through a food bank, wic, food stamps. Maybe you are in danger and need a safe house. At those times, you will need to be humble and strong. Humble enough to ask for help and strong enough to take the necessary steps. Love yourself enough to get the help you need and deserve.
Don't be afraid to ask. Don't feel as if you have failed. Don't let pride get in your way. Remember: Everyone, at some point in their lives, has had to ask for help. EVERYONE. Yes, your mom and dad. Yes, your grandparents. Yes, your friends, EVERYONE.
This post is simply a short reminder from your mom to YOU that you are merely human and that it is OK to seek out help.
I love you for being you.
Mom
That being said, My lesson of the day is: It is OK to ask for help.
Have you ever heard the expression: "no man is an island". Or, the philosophy that "it takes a village". Or read the modern "parable" :
Footprints in the Sand...
One night I dreamed I was walking along the beach with the Lord.
Many scenes from my life flashed across the sky.
In each scene I noticed footprints in the sand.
Sometimes there were two sets of footprints.
Other times there were one set of footprints.
This bothered me because I noticed that during the low periods of my life
When I was suffering from anguish, sorrow, or defeat,
I could see only one set of footprints.
So I said to the Lord, "You promised me, Lord,
That if I followed you, you would walk with me always.
But I noticed that during the most trying periods of my life
There have only been one set of prints in the sand.
Why, When I have needed you most, you have not been there for me?"
The Lord replied,
"The times when you have seen only one set of footprints
Is when I carried you."
All these ideas - suggest that there are times in life... When we need help - be it spiritual, physical, or emotional.
I have raised you to be self reliant... but there will be times in life... When to move forward, move on, thrive, or survive -- you will need help.
In times of spiritual need: I have found praying or meditating in nature has helped: at the beach, in the woods, at sunset, or on a quiet path along the levee. Seek out a place that you can go in times of need.... to reflect and pray. A safe house for you soul.
In times of physical or emotional need, you may need help. Maybe you are in physical pain and need to go to the doctor or the dentist. Maybe you are depressed and or angry and need to see a psychologist.Maybe you can't pay your bills and need to see a credit counselor. Maybe you are out of work and need unemployment benefits. Maybe you are hungry and need to get assistance through a food bank, wic, food stamps. Maybe you are in danger and need a safe house. At those times, you will need to be humble and strong. Humble enough to ask for help and strong enough to take the necessary steps. Love yourself enough to get the help you need and deserve.
Don't be afraid to ask. Don't feel as if you have failed. Don't let pride get in your way. Remember: Everyone, at some point in their lives, has had to ask for help. EVERYONE. Yes, your mom and dad. Yes, your grandparents. Yes, your friends, EVERYONE.
This post is simply a short reminder from your mom to YOU that you are merely human and that it is OK to seek out help.
I love you for being you.
Mom
Thursday, June 14, 2012
The Truth and Accountability
Telling the truth isn't always easy or pretty... especially when it involves admitting you have made a mistake.So why bother? It would often be easier to not say anything or maybe just omit certain key facts from the story... Maybe you don't want to disappoint anyone or get someone into trouble...
So why bother?
Character counts. Remember that from your elementary school? Well those assemblies meant something. Character does count in elementary school and beyond. In the business world -- a (wo)man's worth is based on his/her word -- that is the foundation of business and contract law. (See sitting in those classes taught mom something:) A handshake, a signature a intentional nod of assent, a spoken word.... all mean something. Break your word and earn a bad reputation and building a business, grooming a successful career, or simply earning a living will be hard -- harder than you can imagine. "Say what you mean and mean what you say" is a true mantra for success in the business world.
More importantly, the foundation of any good personal relationships is trust. Your best friends, your significant others, and your family need to trust you and in your character. Feeling safe, loved, and secure all come from a deep trust -- the kind of trust that allows one to open their hearts and souls to you. The kind of trust that is earned and cherished. Have you ever heard the phrase, "the eyes are the window to one's soul"? Believe it or not, this has a foundation of truth behind it. Body language experts note that people who tell lies always look above your head or to the side of the person they are lying to... It is a deep rooted, human instinct - difficult to impossible to control So if someone cannot look you in the eye when you are asking them an important question -- be very wary.
So what if the truth isn't pretty?
Well, newsflash, bad news seldom is pretty. What I can tell you is that getting caught in a lie -- especially on important matters - is ugly: there will be anger, disappointment, hurt feelings, and lingering feelings of distrust. Not to mention, the amount of energy you will waste and the stress your body will feel while trying to keep the "facts" straight. And, deep down, on some level, you will know that "the truth will always come out in the end". So for everyone's good, especially your own, it is best just to get it over with.
Do you remember when you were little and trying to decide whether to have me take the band aid off slowly --feeling each hair being pulled in excruciating slow motion --- or whether to have me tear the sucker off, quickly, in one swift motion. Well,deciding to tell the truth is kind of like that band aid. Once you tell the truth -- it will smart, but it will be done, finito, and you can move on....
And, as always, your mom will be here in person (or spirit) to wipe your tears and give you a hug.
Mom's thoughts of the day:
Character Counts - Own Your Actions -- Be Trustworthy.
So why bother?
Character counts. Remember that from your elementary school? Well those assemblies meant something. Character does count in elementary school and beyond. In the business world -- a (wo)man's worth is based on his/her word -- that is the foundation of business and contract law. (See sitting in those classes taught mom something:) A handshake, a signature a intentional nod of assent, a spoken word.... all mean something. Break your word and earn a bad reputation and building a business, grooming a successful career, or simply earning a living will be hard -- harder than you can imagine. "Say what you mean and mean what you say" is a true mantra for success in the business world.
More importantly, the foundation of any good personal relationships is trust. Your best friends, your significant others, and your family need to trust you and in your character. Feeling safe, loved, and secure all come from a deep trust -- the kind of trust that allows one to open their hearts and souls to you. The kind of trust that is earned and cherished. Have you ever heard the phrase, "the eyes are the window to one's soul"? Believe it or not, this has a foundation of truth behind it. Body language experts note that people who tell lies always look above your head or to the side of the person they are lying to... It is a deep rooted, human instinct - difficult to impossible to control So if someone cannot look you in the eye when you are asking them an important question -- be very wary.
So what if the truth isn't pretty?
Well, newsflash, bad news seldom is pretty. What I can tell you is that getting caught in a lie -- especially on important matters - is ugly: there will be anger, disappointment, hurt feelings, and lingering feelings of distrust. Not to mention, the amount of energy you will waste and the stress your body will feel while trying to keep the "facts" straight. And, deep down, on some level, you will know that "the truth will always come out in the end". So for everyone's good, especially your own, it is best just to get it over with.
Do you remember when you were little and trying to decide whether to have me take the band aid off slowly --feeling each hair being pulled in excruciating slow motion --- or whether to have me tear the sucker off, quickly, in one swift motion. Well,deciding to tell the truth is kind of like that band aid. Once you tell the truth -- it will smart, but it will be done, finito, and you can move on....
And, as always, your mom will be here in person (or spirit) to wipe your tears and give you a hug.
Mom's thoughts of the day:
Character Counts - Own Your Actions -- Be Trustworthy.
Tuesday, June 12, 2012
The First Post -- Trying Something New
Every time we try something new there is some trepidation. Will I be able to do this? Why did I decide to try this? What was I thinking??
Today's thought of the day: If you don't try, you will never know.
What I do know is that if you don't try --- you will always wonder in the back of your head ... What if? What if I had tried? Would I have been able to do it? Where would I be now? What ifs are very negative forces that can easily prevent one from appreciating exactly where you are now -- in the present. So I say try... Yes you can or no you couldn't -- it doesn't really matter ... as either way, you will be stronger in the knowledge that you took a positive action in trying rather than letting self doubt, insecurity, or misperceptions stand in your way.
So here goes nothing or more accurately, everything.
I am trying my hand at blogging. Why? I would like to leave a e -paper trail(if u will) for my eight children... like a modern diary of my thoughts, impressions, and views of life. Not because I am all knowing -- lord knows, LOL, I am far from it. But because I want them to be able to see things as I did at a certain point in time... a frame of reference (perhaps a rose colored looking glass) -- a way to navigate the world around them.
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